Thursday, January 27, 2011

身在異國的我…

零下三度。一個人走到異國大概已經有四個月了。
最近的心情,不知道該怎麽形容。
幾乎每一天都需要靠安眠藥入睡。
現在的我,不是應該開心才是嗎?
縂覺得最近的情歌都會讓人落淚。
一個人的行李,看了縂會覺得寂寞。
想要的,還是在期望。
不想要的,總是迎面而來。
一個人的這些日子,
孤單地過了好多個節日。
就是因爲節日,提醒了我孤單。
從秋季到冬季,就快要到春季了。
我還能忍耐幾個季候呢?
告訴自己寂寞不痛,可是落下的淚又是什麽?
想念會痛!寂寞會痛!傷心會痛!
哭泣會痛!裝傻會痛!
現在的我,笑的時候…也會痛。
從一開始,
明知道他是錯的人,明知道那不是緣份,
明知道愛情並不牢靠,
但是我還是拼命往裏跳。
現在,我該滿是傷痕了吧。
竟然已犧牲到這個地步…
是該放棄?還是繼續?
這個問題,想了想…
到現在大概我已經想了四年了…

Monday, April 19, 2010

I am tired of trying to be myself..

I'm tired of deleting everything I write because it's so complex and filled with I's.
Of being the downer person who think so much about things.
Everywhere I go, people laugh and joke, chat animatedly and never seem to bear a weight upon their shoulders.
I always feel like the outsider, the one whose given up making an effort to fit in because I know in my heart it's just trying to be someone I'm not.
The advice those people around me give is, just be yourself!
I am myself and it's not enough for you.

I'm tired of justifying the person I am, when if I told you a fraction of the life I'd have your eyes would widen and immediately your opinion would change from indifference to impression.
I shouldn't have to do that. I won't do that. But ultimately by not, I'm damning myself to the outer fringes of the group.

Oh. I'm just tired...!

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

累了…

覺得今天的雲朵好像不太一樣。是心情所影響的關係,還是真的‘雨過天晴’麽?

一切的過去都好像已發生好幾十年似的。感覺有點累了。
雖説‘休息是爲了走更遠的路’。可是,我卻馬不停蹄地越走越遠…
不是為了要連夜趕路到達目的地,而是希望能趕緊把一切不愉快的統統都給忘掉。
與其等待雨後的那片晴天,也許馬不停蹄,應該就是目前最好的療方吧?

那些不愉快的還是不停地在心裏徘徊。
一年接一年,雙眼已再也擠不出一點咸。想哭,就只能在心裏哭。

爲了一個人,我竟然放棄了好多能實現夢想的機會。
爲了一個人,我竟然忽略了金錢的重要性。
爲了一個人,我竟然忘了時間是不能倒流的。
爲了一個人,我竟然已忘了自我。

到後來,我醒覺,原來完完全全的爲了一個人,就等於徹底地毀了自己。
自己的選擇,誰也不能被怨。

雖説一切已成回憶,但,思念好像已成為了一種習慣……

我累了……

Monday, March 8, 2010

亂... 煩... 不知所措......

呆在家裏一整天了。聼著抒情的歌曲,腦裏還是想著那些不應該想的事情。我的心真的好煩好亂!已經有好幾個星期了,到現在我的心情都還不能平復下來!究竟是爲了什麽?我自己還正在尋找著答案。

不知道是不是在鏡頭前演太多,現在卻患上了職業病。發覺自己在人們面前不停地在掩飾著自己的傷心與失落。把自己變得好像有點假似的。一路以來,大多數的人都會找我傾訴他們的瑣碎煩事,對生活的不滿。可是,他們只會對我說,只要我聆聽他們,還有要我的意見。可是,當我告訴他們關於我的事情的時候,卻沒有人會真正的願意聼我說。我的心真的好混亂!!到底是他們自私?還是沒人會理會我的點點滴滴?又或者是他們根本對我的瑣碎煩事不感興趣?那,他們以爲我對他們的瑣碎煩事真的那麽感興趣嗎?他們從來就不會明白,不會了解當一個人好煩好煩的時候,是不想聆聽任何東西,甚至是不想說話!可能他們是知道的,只是從來都不會去顧慮別人的感受!做人是這樣的麽?

其實,我還蠻後悔給自己一個月的休假,把手上一整個月的工作推了。如果還可以選擇,我會不停地工作!因爲只有那樣子我才會沒有時間亂想!亂想那些已成事實可是還不能接受的傷心事!
羡慕?妒忌?都不是。只能怪自己為什麽不在他踏出第一步後,做出反應。可是,一切都已經太遲了。
我記得我曾經寫過這樣的一段:

'想起以前每天叫醒你的時候;在一起用餐的時候;在一起開懷大笑的時候;在一起分擔失落的時候;還有睡在你身旁的幸福感覺....以前的兩人早餐,現在..只能是一場夢.....'。

對,一切都只能是一場夢。只是,..這一場夢會延續多久?幾時會結束?這還是未知數...


Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Does L.O.V.E hurts? ...... NO!

'Everyone says love hurts, but that isn't true. Loneliness hurts. Rejection hurts. Losing someone hurts. Envy hurts. Everyone gets these things confused with love, but in reality love is the only thing in this world that covers up all pain and makes someone feel wonderful again. Love is the only thing in this world that does not hurt.''


Clear now? ;))

- By2 -

在留意只有17歲的By2已经有一段時間了。慢慢地發覺他們的天份与潛力一直不斷地在發揮!在他們的新专専輯<TWINS>里的其中一首主打"我知道",更呈現出另一面的By2!

來自新加坡的雙胞胎少女團體By2,為了挑戰夢想參加了「海蝶森林」,從2500人的競爭裡脫穎而出,2008年By2首度出現在台灣、新加坡、馬來西 亞、中國內地…等各大網站,清秀稚氣的模樣加上精湛的舞蹈,一曝光便成功的引起網友高度注目!經過了台北、東京、北京三大城市的洗禮與音樂產業最嚴峻的訓 練,By2帶著父親臨終的祝福以16歲稚齡的姿態勇敢站華語樂壇的舞台。

2008 年3月發行首張專輯【16未成年】,能歌善舞的兩人打著『16年前的安室奈美惠,7年前的寶兒,2008年的By2』名號,成功站穩進軍樂壇的第一步,專 輯發行後立刻引起網友熱烈迴響,甜美外型+動靜皆宜的實力大受宅男族喜愛,成為新一代宅男殺手,締造華語樂壇另類宅經濟奇蹟!2009年這對青春正漾的超 萌美少女夾帶著無可取代的優勢發行第二張專輯【Twins】,告別16未成熟,微笑迎接17歲。



来聽聽By2的 ''我知道'' 吧! ;)







Tuesday, September 15, 2009

My life as a free-lancer! ;)

Oh gosh! Have to go travel again! (Travel = Money)
Luckily this time is just Singapore. :))

Back from Taiwan and Bangkok last month. And actually made me broke. Sighs..
Luckily again that those jobs are keep coming to me! Events (Nike, Coca-Cola, Sony FIFA World Cup, Heineken, and etc), 'Marks and Spencer' Photo Test Shoot, 'Cuti-Cuti Raya' Test Shoot, 'MOT' Cast Video, '100Plus' TV Commercial, Magazine Anniversary Parties, and a few TVC castings. Sometimes i really do think that me, myself is a lucky person. (Happy go lucky~) Hehe.. ;))

So, no worries for the coming trips! (Singapore in Oct, Bali in Nov, and South Korea in early of December for my birthday!, Hong Kong in end of Dec for Christmas, ShangHai in Feb 2010 for Chinese New Year, Tokyo in May/June 2010, and REST!)
**Matta fair help me to save a lot! haha

Also, coming items are up to shop and is a MUST to grab~!!!
- iPhone 3GS, 2008 Limited Edition Gucci Sling Bag, ZARA's pvc jacket, skinny jeans, SHOES, shirts, shorts, and so much more!! Enjoy the ''Shop till drop'' feelings again! haha! :))

I LOVE MY JOBS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :)))

But one thing!! My job as an air-steward! This is so bothering me! and actually make me confused. Sighs.......
Because of this, i've actually started to put on my weight, and go gym oftenly. But in the mean time, i'm taking protein. So, my skin isn't that good. Therefore, i always have to put on some light make-up and do Facials! Sighs..!! Self-esteem............LOW!!!

Anyhow, i still have to make up my mind whether i want to further studies in Taiwan or get my ass on the flying journey!!

This is really something that i have to seriously think about!

Honey!!!! Don't stay in LA and Vancouver too long!! Come back and help your babe to make this tough decision!! :((