I am tired of trying to be myself..

I'm tired of deleting everything I write because it's so complex and filled with I's.
Of being the downer person who think so much about things.
Everywhere I go, people laugh and joke, chat animatedly and never seem to bear a weight upon their shoulders.
I always feel like the outsider, the one whose given up making an effort to fit in because I know in my heart it's just trying to be someone I'm not.
The advice those people around me give is, just be yourself!
I am myself and it's not enough for you.

I'm tired of justifying the person I am, when if I told you a fraction of the life I'd have your eyes would widen and immediately your opinion would change from indifference to impression.
I shouldn't have to do that. I won't do that. But ultimately by not, I'm damning myself to the outer fringes of the group.

Oh. I'm just tired...!