I am tired of trying to be myself..

I'm tired of deleting everything I write because it's so complex and filled with I's.
Of being the downer person who think so much about things.
Everywhere I go, people laugh and joke, chat animatedly and never seem to bear a weight upon their shoulders.
I always feel like the outsider, the one whose given up making an effort to fit in because I know in my heart it's just trying to be someone I'm not.
The advice those people around me give is, just be yourself!
I am myself and it's not enough for you.

I'm tired of justifying the person I am, when if I told you a fraction of the life I'd have your eyes would widen and immediately your opinion would change from indifference to impression.
I shouldn't have to do that. I won't do that. But ultimately by not, I'm damning myself to the outer fringes of the group.

Oh. I'm just tired...!

累了…

覺得今天的雲朵好像不太一樣。是心情所影響的關係，還是真的‘雨過天晴’麽？

一切的過去都好像已發生好幾十年似的。感覺有點累了。
雖説‘休息是爲了走更遠的路’。可是，我卻馬不停蹄地越走越遠…
不是為了要連夜趕路到達目的地，而是希望能趕緊把一切不愉快的統統都給忘掉。
與其等待雨後的那片晴天，也許馬不停蹄，應該就是目前最好的療方吧?

那些不愉快的還是不停地在心裏徘徊。
一年接一年，雙眼已再也擠不出一點咸。想哭，就只能在心裏哭。

爲了一個人，我竟然放棄了好多能實現夢想的機會。
爲了一個人，我竟然忽略了金錢的重要性。
爲了一個人，我竟然忘了時間是不能倒流的。
爲了一個人，我竟然已忘了自我。

到後來，我醒覺，原來完完全全的爲了一個人，就等於徹底地毀了自己。
自己的選擇，誰也不能被怨。

雖説一切已成回憶，但，思念好像已成為了一種習慣……

我累了……